Friday, April 17, 2015

Love the Home You Have

I got my new book, and I've been reading Love the Home You Have. It's been more difficult than I thought it would be.  I didn't realize how much emotional baggage I had when it came to houses.  And I love to read, and I read fast, so I was hoping to finish it quickly.  Alas, this will be a book of reflection and internal work.  Work, bah humbug.  <sigh>  But I need this.  I need to love this home and make it mine.

First of all, I was supposed to list three things I loved about my current home.  Only three!  Guiltily, I came up empty.  I fought with my thoughts for a while and finally came up with a few things.  But they came out very begrudgingly, "I don't even have a ______, but (grumble, grumble) at least we have a sprinkling system that mostly works."  Most of my first thoughts centered around the trees or the fenced yard or the great neighborhood.  

Then I forced myself to focus on the house itself.  It's really been a challenge to move into this house.  We didn't move here because we wanted to be in a new place.  We didn't move here because it was a better house than the last one.  We didn't move because it fit our family better.  We moved here because this is where my dad is, and we didn't want him to have to move.  Crazy!  Why would we move and inconvenience a family of 10 for the desires of 1?  I don't know, and on paper it is ridiculous.  But it feels like the right thing to do.  

It's certainly not a bad thing to be here, and it's not a bad house.  I've just been focusing enough on the things that don't work for us, and need to see the things that do work for us.  After a bit of mental rebellion, I took a walk through the house.  I noted the nice color and pattern of the kitchen floor.  I saw how the light pours into the back windows.  I appreciated the spacious laundry room.  I was glad that the noisy areas of the house are farther away from the areas we need to keep quiet.

And you know, the more I saw things with grateful and happy eyes, the more good things I saw.  I now have a list of far more than three things I love about this house.  And I'm feeling more happy to be here.

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