Happy Birthday!

I have two sisters-in-law who remember everyone's birthdays.  Everyone.  That is no small feat in a large extended family.  I figured that this year I could at least send a birthday card to all of my siblings-in-law.  And my brothers.  And my parent-in-laws.  Whew - we're up to 16, but I should be able to handle that many.  We've got a lot when you factor in my family, Jay's family, and now Trent's, too.  I thought it might be fun lettering practice, too, and it was.  

I say "was" in the past tense because I did really well at sending out cards (February was a killer!) until the summer, then I just forgot.  I think it had something to do with getting a new planner so I didn't have my birthday list to remind me.  But mostly I just got summer-busy and forgot.  Mea culpa.  I'll try to finish out the year better!

I didn't forget my own children's birthdays though, because that would be mother demerits and I have enough of those.  Today, I'm celebrating the birthday of my first daughter-in-law.  I wasn't in a good place when she came into our lives.  I desperately wanted to be warm and welcoming, but I was so wrapped up in a big wad of anxiety that I didn't always reach out like I should have.  Regrets.  I wish I would have been warmer and welcoming-er.  

I still love her to bits, though.  She has the most beautiful smile, and I love the sparkle in her eyes when she's excited about something.  I love how my son loves her, and how she makes him happy.  It was so fun to see him get excited/stressed about getting her just the right engagement ring.  He had a hard time even holding still when he got it, and it wasn't but a moment later that he popped the question.  Happy memories.

Happy birthday, my dear.  Thank you for bringing some light into this corner of our family.  May your day be as lovely as you are, and many more to come!

June Tidbits

I've found a whole-foods friendly treat that makes my mouth hop-up-and-down happy: fried or grilled pineapple!  Don't need any oil, just slap some fresh pineapple slices in a hot non-stick pan and wait until the edges are brown and toasty and caramelized.  Don't burn your tongue but you will want to because it's horrible having to wait until they cool off enough to eat safely.

Georgie and I were talking about one of his little friends who lives nearby.  They have a multi-racial family (white parents with kids in various shades of black and brown) and are some of the nicest people you'd ever meet.  I mentioned that the kids were all adopted, and Georgie turned to me with dinner-plate eyes.  "What??  How can you tell??"

Freddie and Georgie have taken to wrestling.  Or maybe it's ninja mixed with parkour.  And a little bit of hip hop dancing with vocal sound effects.  It often ends in one or the other getting hurt, and sometimes both.  I have been trying to teach them to be more aware of when it stops being play and starts getting hurtful.  The other day, they were doing karate-type moves in my room, kicking their legs out at each other in all odd angles.  Georgie suddenly stopped and demanded, "Fred!  Are we having fun?"  Without missing a single awkward kick, Freddie responded, "Um... probably."

David got a construction job for the summer.  He literally digs ditches.  And other spots where big machinery is too bulky.  He is getting tan (very appealing farmer's tan) and strong.  And he makes double minimum wage!  For a seventeen-year-old, that is better than fast food any day.  We'll see how he likes it when the weather gets blazing hot.

Eddie has been working for $25 a day at a local cub scout camp.  It's not an awful lot of money, but a fifteen-year old has a hard time finding a regular job, so it's a good thing.  He is in charge of "aeronautics" so they fold and fly paper airplanes.  I think we have about seven hundred and thirty paper airplanes in various states of abandoned around out house right now.  Many of them are in a cardboard box in the kitchen that we call the airport.  We trip over it daily.

We got the end-of-the-year report cards, and all the children did very well.  The only less-than-super grade was one of Angel's.  It was in the "can find the main point" section.  Er... that's true.  To her, ALL the details are important, and she has to tell me about EVERY little bit of things.  Sometimes it takes her longer to tell me about a happening than it took to actually transpire.  She is the sweetest little chatterbox you ever did see, though.  That she can even talk is one of my biggest blessings after her fall and brain injury.  I am grateful for her.

With Alec married, and Ben and Chris both away at college, I feel like our home is nearly empty.  Someone asked me the other day, "How many kids do you have at home now?"  I mournfully responded, "Only five."  Only five!  How ridiculous that must sound to most people!  But there is a little spot in my heart where each of my children go, and I love seeing them and  hearing what they have been up to.  "Only five" does come with a smaller food bill, though...

Hope your summer is going well and delightful!

October Tidbits

Georgie was taking a shower (the bathtub isn't working yet), and said he was done.  On being reminded to rinse the bubbles from his armpits, very loud laughing and giggling was heard from the bathroom.

When Freddie heard someone raising their voice, he said, "Hey!  You should be more like me.  Sometimes I am mad, but when I'm not, I always try really hard not to be mad."

Angel insisted that she could do a good job washing her own hair - and then got distracted and didn't wash out all the shampoo.  Or didn't wash her scalp.  Or something, but ended up with an itchy head.  She scratched it so energetically that she made sores in the thin skin of her scar before we could get rid of the itch.  Here's hoping it heals up quickly.

Alec and I were visiting while he was working on his car in Opa's driveway.  He's got a concealed carry permit, and he let me hold his gun - after he took the bullets out.  Can't have a crazy mother shooting up the neighborhood!

Ben ran into an old elementary school friend.  The boy didn't recognize Ben at first, but thought he looked familiar.  Ben remembered the boy and introduced himself.  The old friend's eyes lit up, "Oh yeah!  But I thought you had red hair!"  He does still.

Trent and I spent the weekend at a marriage retreat.  It was pretty incredible.  So many good things... that I wish I had known decades ago.  It's never too late to learn a better way to do things, so I'll start today.  We found it so valuable that we decided to gift the class - plus a 3-night hotel stay - to each of our children as a wedding present.

Side note: the kids at home managed pretty well (with some Grandma help) while we were gone, but were relieved to see us back.  I'm happy to take over Mom duties.

Chris had a girl leave a note on his motorcycle, complimenting his bike and asking for a ride.  Now we know why he got a bike...

David is the high school's production of Les Miserables!  He is loving learning the songs and we love hearing them around the house.  He just had a choir concert that made me laugh and cry.  I so enjoy going to music concerts that that my boys are in!  I'm missing the junior high band concerts right now.

Eddie has finished a few art projects and is really enjoying the class.  I'm kind of bummed he didn't take cooking because I like the homework he would have gotten.  He is doing fabulously in his classes.

Fall is in full swing, and the canyons are gloriously bedecked!  Go out and take a ride this week if you can.  Bonus points for taking a cute girl.

The Bike Rack

I grew up on a bike.  I loved flying down the street, my timid feet planted firmly on the brake, so I wasn't really flying but going as darn fast as I dared.  My brother gave me a hard time about how slowly my "fast as I dared" was, but I won't go there today.

When my first boys were 2,4, and 6, Jay and I decided to spend Grandma Jeanne's Christmas money on little bikes for them.  Alec's bike was little.  Ben's bike was tiny, and the bicycle for Chris was downright tiny.  We had a large RV garage, so they pedaled their little hearts out, round and round the garage.  They arranged stacked boxes to make racetracks and spent hours in there.  Seeing their fun, of course Jay and I had to purchase bicycles for ourselves.  From then on, we rode bikes to school.  Alec and Ben parked their bikes carefully in the big bike rack, and Chris and I would head back home, stopping at the post office on the way.  It was an itty-bitty small town and we pedaled all over it.

A few months later, we moved to the Seattle area.  We found many bike trails snaking alongside the river and through town.  We packed up our dinner, loaded it into the bike trailer with Baby David, and rode off into the sunset.  What fun we had!

Not long after Eddie was born, a neighbor gave us their bike rack.  Huge and made of solid steel, it held all our bike upright and tangle free.  This is where the bicycles belong.  Not falling over each other, not on top of the sprinklers, not stashed into the bushes, not languishing on the front lawn.  What a wonderful organizational tool!

And do the children actually use it?  Ha.

When My Memory Fades

I forget things.  Not just because I'm getting older, but also because moments change.  When the house is a disaster and all the pennies need pinching and I'm hungry but there is nothing for me to eat and the kids are fighting with each other and we are LATE AGAIN! it is hard to remember that there are times that go well.  But there are good moments.  Lots of them, in fact.  So I need to write them down, because that's how I remember better.  I think that is one of the great blessings of the scriptures - they make our collective memories bigger.  And it's nice to remember the good things, especially when hard times hit.

***

Alec came over to change his oil.  I have appreciated how Trent has taught the boys how to fix and maintain a car.  When Alec's new car spilled oil all over the driveway, Alec was good to come back and clean it up.  He stayed for a bit and we ended up all eating hamburgers in the kitchen together - 12 of us with Grandma Jeanne that day.  It so warms my mother-heart to be together.

***

We were driving home from a late-night family gathering in the big van.  I love being in our big van, even though I don't particularly like driving our giant, unwieldy van -  because it means we can be all together.  Something is missing when we have to take two or three cars instead.  Eddie started saying things in a British accent that evidently wasn't quite up to snuff.  Before long, David, Chris, and Ben were all criticizing  his attempt, but each fake accent was different than the one before.  I think we all ended up in giggles at all those bad accents.  British giggles, mind you.

***

When someone does an especially good job on a school paper or artwork, we hang in on the refrigerator.  I was pleasantly surprised when Chris asked at the end of his senior year if he could put his well-done-paper one the fridge, since he usually does not like to be the center of attention.  The next time I walked past the kitchen, it looked like this!  It was so fun we left it that way, all covered with his awards and achievements, for the whole summer.

Must Right the Not Writing

A few years ago, one of my sons implored me to never stop blogging.  "How will we ever know when we did things?  Or remember our family stories if you don't write them down, Mom?"  His plaintive request caught me totally off-guard.  I didn't think he read the blog at all, or even really knew that I wrote.  Especially since he was in an I-don't-care-about-this-family kind of stage.  So I kept writing.  Every now and then, life gets crazy and other things are more important than writing, so I pause.  But I miss it.  It's hard to jump back in and not feel guilty that there are things that I didn't record that I wanted to - that's why the pauses last longer than I want them to.  I feel like I have to play catch-up before I can jump back into today.

In the past half year, we have gone from Mom and Dad, six kids and Opa, with two missionaries out, to both missionaries home and eleven people in this house!  At the end of the summer we had a wedding and two other boys going away to college, so we were down three.  David and Eddie were happy to move into Chris's old bedroom (it has a window!), and the twins got to move out of the room they shared with Angel.  Yes, we had eight children in three bedrooms for a while - although some of the older boys preferred to couch-surf rather than sleep downstairs.  It seems funny to say that the house is quieter and feels empty now, because there are still five kids plus two parents plus a grandparent who still eat, sleep, and hang out on the premises.

But it is a little empty.  Alec and his new bride have a cozy little apartment a few towns over, and seem to be living happily.  Do we need a bloggy name for her?  Does it need to match up with Alec's letter A, or should we begin with B since that is the next girl name in the alphabet after Angel?  Let's call her Belle, just for fun, and because it fits her.  Ben's university is in the next town over from the university Chris chose, so they are sharing an apartment and commuting.  I love to hear them tease and bicker over bedtimes and groceries, and I'm glad they have each other.  My mother-heart has grown a few sizes to include a new family member, and to love my boys as the adults they are becoming.  I pray every night that they will all find real happiness and fulfillment in their chosen areas.

David is a sophomore this year, so I have him in the nest for two more years while he grows his flight-feathers.  I'm so impressed with how he handles the challenges he faces, and how he determinedly gets back up every time.  He is learning such good things!  Eddie is in eighth grade and finding his groove in his studies and groups of friends.  He and David clash on a regular basis over the standard sibling things, but I'm glad that they like each other anyway and manage to set things straight.  If we could figure out how to simultaneously play music and have quiet; turn the lights on and have dark, we would be a thousand times more peaceful.  And rich, if we could sell that technology!

Our Angel is eight and thriving in second grade.  Her social butterflightiness (can I combine "social butterfly" and "flightiness"?) is calming down several notches, and she spends a great deal of time writing and drawing pictures, or playing school with her little brothers.  When she has been quiet for a long time, I know her imagination has been captured by a good book.  Freddie and Georgie are in the first grade.  Gone all day!  I love to hear the commotion that descends upon the house when the three of them come tramping in after school.  And then my mother-heart is happy: my children are home!

Yes, dear son, I'll keep blogging.  There are so many things for me to write about and I miss it when I don't.  We have a great family, don't you think?  If I don't jot down the things I am ever so grateful for, then I forget.

And I don't ever want to forget.

Fancy Duds

We're getting ready for a wedding.  Alec wants all of his brothers in tuxedos, and I know they will be so handsome!  We generally don't mind dressing up at our house.  We gathered up all the boys and high-tailed it over to the tux rental shop.  Oh wait.  I'm missing a part.  That's the part where we pulled out all the tuxes that we own, spread them all over the living room for a few days, made everyone try them all on, and after wondering why we have all these pieces that no one fits!, then we headed to the tux shop.

I just had to snap this picture of my oh-so-tall Ben, getting fitted for tuxedo pants.  The store people are more worried about getting the waist right, since the legs are more easily measured and hemmed.  How fancy are we, with our ankles hanging out, and our tennis shoes?  They had a nice soft chair I could loll in while the boys passed out threats if I laughed at their trying-tuxes-on-ing.  I didn't laugh, honest.  But I didn't make any promises about later.

Angle's outfit was less of a laughing matter.  Alec's finance and her mother picked out the pattern, purchased all the fabric, and all I had to do was sew it together.  "All I had to do..."  I spent the summer sewing a quilt for the happy couple, and my sewing machine was pooped out.  So instead of getting it serviced and the tension fixed, I sewed another project.  With rolled circular hems.  And skipped stitches and broken threads like crazy.  There may have been bad words and maybe even tears.  In then end, I had to beg my professional-seamstress sister-in-law to finish the last rolled him and insert the zipper, because the sewing machine and I are not on speaking terms any more.  

But the dress was beautiful, fancy enough to hold her own in the sea of formal black tuxedos.  Lovely enough to make a little girl feel like a princess.  Formal enough... to roll around in the grass while we were supposed to be taking portraits?  I guess that's just right for us.

The End of School

I didn't record the end of school here, but it was a happy time.  I love getting my kids home for the summer!  Check out these cute little faces.  Maybe they aren't being so cute right now!  This will be the first summer vacation for the twins, and they aren't really happy about it.  Freddie will not miss walking home after school every day.  But they think they will miss their friends, and they love going to school.  They don't understand why they have to stop going to school for a few months.  I'm glad they have had a good experience in kindergarten.

David just finished his last year at the junior high, and Eddie his first year there.  I loved just sitting back and watching the two of them flip through the junior high yearbook together.  I don't think either of them budged for hours.

I didn't get a picture of our girl, but her world is falling apart!  She is in mourning for her little friends that she won't be able to see all summer long!  You should hear her lament.  With a pouty face, it's "alllll summer loooooong!"  Like they were dying or something.  Pretty pathetic.  I'm sure she'll manage, because she's not generally looking for drama, but her friends are important to her and she loves being with other people.  Like her daddy, she is.

Here is the biggest change at the end of this school year.  Chris is done - oh happy day!  He has not been fond of being in high school, and really couldn't wait to get done with it.  I'm glad he managed to finish all of his requirements anyway.  He hates having me take his picture, so this is a splendidly pleasant face.  It will be fun to see where he chooses to go in his life.

And that is the end of the school year.  Some summers are full of goings, some are more lazy.  As much as I would love to just relax and vacation at the beach this summer, I know it will be more on the busy side.  My oldest three boys will be working, Ben will be coming home, we have a wedding coming up, and at the end of the summer, all three of them will be moving out.

This is our last summer together, and I plan to cherish every little tidbit I get.  We will have 11 people living in our house for a few months, and after this, the whole dynamic of our family changes.  Not in a bad way, but change is often fun and melancholy at the same time.  Who knows what we will look like next summer?

Announcing an Addition!

Alec has been busy since he got home.  He had to renew his driver's license, get a job, find an apartment, figure out what he was going to do for college, find some transportation...  Whew.  Adulting is a lot of hard work!  High on his list of priorities was getting back to this pretty gal he hadn't seen for two years.  It's a long time to be apart.

Unwilling to be apart any longer, they didn't waste any time to become engaged and start planning a wedding.  

Yeah, ring-buying is another one of those adulty things than takes some good decision-making skills and grown-up amounts of money.  I'll just be a wee bit flattered that he wanted a small amount of assistance from Mom.

I read something somewhere that said the purpose of a parent, when dealing with children, was to introduce the children to new things and help them figure out how to deal with those new things.  Short of having his own children, I don't think there is really anything new of significance to introduce to this boy.  So good luck on your adulting!  Have a happy marriage!  Be a responsible human being!  I'm pretty excited for them to learn all kinds of new things - now together.

It's fun to watch your kids grow up (especially when you get to continue calling them "my baby" in secret.  Shh!).

P.S.  I'm not dealing very well with the idea of becoming a mother-in-law.  I have two of the sweetest, kind-hearted women for my mothers-in-law, so that helps.  But it just sounds sinister, doesn't it?  It seems only a small step down from "wicked step-mother."  I hope I can be a reasonably good mother-in-law.  I do like my future daugher-in-law - I think she's just what my boy needs!

And I miss my mom, who could help introduce me to this new thing and help me figure out how to deal with it well.  We never outgrow our mothers.

Happy Mother's Day!

This was the best part of my Mother's Day,  by far - being together with my kids.  I really don't need roses or special dinners (although I like them very much - don't get me wrong!  Keep those coming!).  But what I long for most is to have my family together and just basking in the air they breathe.  Makes me happy.

The missionary call didn't happen until late in the evening (which was early in the morning in Madagascar!), so the little ones were only able to visit for a few minutes before they needed to head off to bed. Trent was coming down with a fever, so he turned in earlier as well. 

It was fun to just sit around and visit with all these boys. I love sitting back and listening to them tell stories and joke with each other. One at a time they all got tired and left, so I got a few minutes of one-on-one with my boy.

He'll be home soon, and we're looking forward to it. He has been missed around here!

Happy at Home

Every day, I see so many little scenes that make my mother-heart happy.  I walk past a room and see a happy moment or hear joy shooting about and I think THIS is it.  This is the good life that I've been working for all these mothering hours.  I just want to soak in all the happiness and memorize the faces and never, ever forget.  And then something else happens and I do forget.

Some things that happen often enough that I remember:  Freddy loves to listen to Josh Groban's "Don't Give Up."  I think it is one of Eddie's favorite songs too.  Freddy puts the CD in the digital piano and sings his little heart out.  Georgie joins in, but Freddy really belts it out.  Often.  And during the worst possible moments: we have company, Trent and I are trying to have a difficult parent discussion, I'm on the phone...  Many times, Eddie will sing along, too.  His voice is just starting to change, but he wants to be a deep bass so he tries to sing lower than he actually can.  That song has a wide range, and it's cute to listen to Eddie struggle to hit the notes, or switch to a lower register and still struggle.  Anything to avoid showing that a teenaged boy can hit high notes, right?  Hearing them sing just makes me happy.

Legos happen here all,  the.  time.  The older boys have always bought new Lego sets with the birthday and Christmas money they get from Grandma Jeanne.  Hooray for generous grandparents!  So they each have quite a stash of Legos, in various stages of assemblement.  We also have a big bin full of more plain bricks that Gram found at a thrift store and gave to us for Christmas.  We have such wonderful grandparents!  AND we have two bins full of Legos that live here at the house that were Grandma Susie's.  I think I see a theme running here with grandmothers and Legos.  On Sunday afternoons, the back room becomes Lego Central and they all get out their bricks and start building.  Older, younger - age and gender don't matter as they invent and create and play...together.  That's the best part.  Together.

Another music thing I like is hearing the kids play the piano.  We have two pianos: a digital one and an acoustic piano, sitting side-by-side in the front room.  The rule is that whoever started making music first gets dibs on the airspace, but the digital piano has earphones, so two work mostly well.  David plays by ear, and will sit down and pick out a song.  He teaches the twins how to one-finger some songs, and I enjoy listening to them all play different parts of "Ode to Joy" or other little songs.  Love the music in our home.

I love walking into a room and seeing two boys engrossed in conversation.  Or one boy leaning over another on the computer, helping him figure out his technical difficulties.  Or hearing someone announce he is going on a bike ride, inviting others to go with him, and leaving the house with a group.  Or hearing giggles under a blanket fort that the big boys built for the little ones.  Or seeing the kids take turns pushing each other on the swings.

These are a mother's payday.  This is when the hard work, the late hours, the heartache and tears are all worth it.  And I want to cherish each of these moments and remember them forever, but I can't.  Fortunately, new joys are always coming up to replace the old, faded ones and life is still good.

I hope that one day when I'm old and my brain isn't working quite like it does now, those happy bits will come back to me at random times.  My rocking chair will slow down, I'll set down my knitting needles and laugh - a little gravely old lady chuckle - and be happy all over again.

Welcome Home!

He's back!  I can hardly believe it's been two years already.  I wasn't sure what to expect when we saw him, but it's been good to have him back.  He looks older, more confident and sure of himself.  It's been fun to see him smile and the dimple in his cheek.  

Some of his aunts and uncles came over the house to welcome him back.  He actually wasn't home very long before he was already off again.  This boy knows where he is going and has a plan to get there.  He had an appointment with the drivers licence division to renew his lapsed licence.  After that, he has freedom (as long as he can borrow my car!).

After he came back, he sat and told stories to his uncle and aunt, who have spent time in Africa themselves.  It was fun to hear his experiences.

I sat and watched as he visited with his brothers.  Makes my mother-heart happy to see him.  I was struck by some of his mannerisms - just like his dad!  I wasn't expecting that, and it took my breath away for a moment.

Welcome home, my first-born.  Whether you know it or not, your mama will always love you.  

It does my mama-heart good to have most of this crew back together again, even if it is for only a moment before the older ones go their own ways.

Now, on to your next adventures!

Mission Monday

I wrote two letters to my missionary boys this week - for the last time.  It's hard to believe that Alec's two years has come to an end,  but he really will be home this week.   I'm pinching myself. 

I know he won't want to stay home once he gets here - what motivated young adult would rather stay home and be bored over getting out and on with their life?   But I'll enjoy just sitting back in the corner and seeing him interact with everyone.

I've missed his self-assured confidence,  his loving tenderness with our small fry,  and his mischievous dimple.  He reminds me so much of his cheerfully brilliant dad.  I've been blessed to be surrounded by such amazing men.

The blogs:  Madagascar and South Africa.

Mission Monday

Change is in the air.

The flowers are coming up, the snow is melting, we are putting another bed in Chris's room, and Alec wrote a longer letter this week than the normally-longer-winded Ben.  Always something new!

Ben told me a funny story about a drunk guy they encountered who kept telling them that he loved them.   "The one thing that makes me have a good day no matter what is finding something to laugh about. There's lots of good things out there and when I am good at laughing, I'm way happier. Isn't that great?"

Alec has no car, I think for the first time on him mission.  That may have something to do with his recent birthday and the expiration of his driver's license.  So he's riding a bike, and I hope he really enjoys it!  He loved biking before his mission, but I'm sure riding for transportation is much different than racing them.

Jump over to Alec's South Africa blog or Ben's Madagascar blog.

Lessons From the Organ - Slow Down!

Before I started playing the organ at the temple, I met with the organ coordinator to make sure I could play -  I'm passable.  She took me to the temple when no one was there so I could practice a bit and get used to the organ there.  As I played, she beat the tempo with her hand.  Down, down....down...........doooown.  I was playing too fast.  I slowed down some, and then more.  But her hand wasn't down yet.  Down..................down......................................down.....................................down

Oh, that was hard!  I've always had a thing about music with a slow tempo.  I chafe at singing hymns at church that should be bright and perky but instead drag into a boring cesspool of dead tones.  Yes, I feel that strongly about it.  I don't know why church organists often feel that the correct tempo - for everything - is "moderate funeral dirge."  I work hard to learn the weekly hymns thoroughly enough that I can play them up to speed, or maybe even a little bit faster.  "Onward Christian Soldiers" should make you feel like marching, not lull you into taking a nap!  

I've been guilty of being harsh and judgmental.  I remember singing way-too-slow hymns at church and looking at my watch to figure out just how slow they were going.  Jay, always the kind one, would smile and shake his head at me and tuck my arm in his or hold my hand - covering my watch.

And now, I'm the one playing oh-so-slowly.  It's rough.  I just like to tear through a hymn and get to the end.  I like to have people sit up and take notice and sing out.  I like to play cheerfully or strongly.

Isn't this picture gorgeous?  It was taken by the uncle of Alec's girlfriend and you really ought to look at his other temple shots.  They are breathtaking and show just how I feel when I go to the temple.

In the temple, the whole mood is different.  Everything is hushed and peace reigns.  A loud, sprightly hymn would be out of place.  I love the serenity that fills my heart and smooths out all my rough spots, and I wouldn't want to spoil that tranquility for anyone else.  My job there is to add to the beautiful spirit, not draw attention to myself or encourage action.  I'm so grateful I get to go to the temple.  I love it.  I love the feeling there, and I love playing the organ.

But it is so hard to play slowly!  As I struggled to keep the tempo sedate, I wondered why it was so hard for me to slow down.  As I thought and thought and pondered and wondered, I finally learned what I needed to know today.

I need to slow down.

Yes, I CAN go fast.  Yes, it is fun to sing out.  Yes, it is invigorating to play briskly.  But right now, I need peace.  My life has enough and I'm not always coping very well.  So slow down, girl.  Breathe a little between verses.  Smell the fresh nearly-spring breeze.  Hold on to those notes.  Hug your children longer.  Notice the beauty.  Feel the sunshine on your hair.  Pause.  Slow.  Walk.  Rest.  Enjoy.

And live.

For more information about LDS temple - why we build them and what we do in them, as well as some lovely pictures inside - read this article.

Mission Monday

I know Alec's blog hasn't been updated for a while.  Sorry you don't get to hear some of the adventures he has been up to!  It stopped at week 86, so I haven't thought for a while about what number he might be at now.  I think it is actually about 100, and that is just crazy.  How in the world can time go so quickly?  He'll be home soon, and I'm doing a lot of reflecting.  I've missed him.  I've missed his strength and his perseverance, his tenderness with his littlest siblings, and that dimple when he gets mischievous.  It goes against common sense, but in spite of all the distance and everything, I love that boy more than ever,  It will be nice to have him back home.

Now I need to go figure out where he is going to sleep!

You can catch up on the Madagascar blog too, which is already at 86 weeks.  How??

Mission Monday

Not long now until Alec comes home!  That seems really wild to me. Has it really been two years?  And at the same time, hasn't it been nearly forever since I last saw him? There are a dozen emotions running in and over this mother heart of mine, but mostly love. 

I love this boy and am so grateful for the chance I've had to be his mother and to learn the lessons the Lord had for me through him. I'm definitely a better person because this boy, my strong-willed firstborn, has been part of my life. I'm looking forward to getting to know him as an adult.

And while I'm thinking about boys coming home, I got the official on Ben's plans. He had been thinking about extending his mission and staying for the summer. It's been a tough decision to make, with lots of pros and cons. This boy has always had a hard time making choices. He was the one who would cry at the toy store because he knew that choosing the toy he really wanted meant he had to not choose all the other toys. But he made the decision - he's coming home on time, at the beginning of the summer.  Now I have to figure out where these two boys will be sleeping!

See what they are up to lately on the South Africa Mission blog,  and the Madagascar Mission blog.

Mission Monday

We've had some bad weather lately.  It's been murky and foggy and the air has been bad.  I'd rather not have to chew my air before I breathe it, thanks.  After about a week of this, it snowed lightly for a day, and then the sun came out!  We hadn't had sunshine for a while, so the sunshine felt so good!  Sometimes we have feel our way around in the dark before we appreciate the light again.

Ben wrote this week about how we can shine in the dark and be an example for each other.  It's a good lesson, and a good reminder.

Catch up on our missionary rambles from Madagascar and South Africa!

Mission Monday

I love January.  After the hustle of the holidays, I'm ready to spend a month snowed in with a cup of warm ginger tea by the fireplace.  Or cinnamon tea - I'm not picky.  I could just sit and watch the storms blow in, comfortable as long as there is food in the pantry and I have a warm blanket around my shoulders.  At least, that's how I spent this January, and it was nice.  But now it's February and there is still snow.  It is still cold outside and I have to go out in it.  It's still winter, but I'm done.

My boys, however, are enjoying summertime.  Alec is sitting in sunshine and 83 degrees, while Ben is sweating it out in 94 degrees.  I could do without their humidity (70% and 63%, respectively), and I do have plenty of sunshine here, but it's not the warm kind of sun.  I'm ready for warm.

Look at that sunshine.  You don't know whether it is warm, and the drifting clouds provide a bit of a respite from the heat, or if the blue sky is reflecting on the icy ground below.  For the comfort of my internal thermometer, I'll choose the former.  And that's what we do.  We get to choose how we react to the circumstances we find ourselves in.  Hopefully, we'll learn to have a good attitude about things, like what I found in Ben's letter this week.

I don't feel like God expects us to be super pumped about hard things, I don't think God was disappointed with his two prophets for being a little bit bummed about being imprisoned and starved and about to be killed. But He helped them. And He always helps us if we're willing to let him do that. I love that. I know he loves us and He's always got our backs.

Read the rest of what he said here, and keep up with Alec here.

Happy Monday!

Mission Monday

Today I am grateful for people who do things they don't have to so that other people will be happy.  Ben's mission president's wife routinely takes pictures of the missionaries she sees and posts them on social media.  I don't follow her, but some of the other moms of missionaries let me know when she sends out pictures of our boys. Here's one of a soccer match the missionaries got together and played on their weekly preparation day.

She also took a few short videos of the game and more pictures of the group's activities for the day, including a clip of Ben and the others singing.  Ben remarked that they had to drive an hour out of the city to play on an actual turf field - I guess they usually play in the dirt.

It makes me happy to see random pictures of my boy, especially when I know she doesn't have to take pictures like that.  She just does it.  And I'm grateful for people like her.

Read more about the soccer game here, and keep up on Alec here.