Find Good Things

I've been thinking of product placement.  And Facebook ads.  And Google's new "privacy" policy.  I understand that advertising pays for a lot of what we consider "free."  Like radio.  And search engines.  And this blog.  So I appreciate that.

But for today, I'd like to go back to good-old sharing stories about things without worrying about whether we are holding the label facing outward, or getting compensation or perks from it.  This is not the Truman Show.

Because I'm going to tell you about a few of my favorite things in my medicine cabinet.  These things make my life a little bit better, and I've decided to recognize them and be happy about it.  Too many things are annoying, and make us frown.  Maybe we ought to get in the habit of smiling for good things.

This is my moisturizer - coconut oil.  I feel fancy when I say moisturizer instead of lotion.  I use it on my face and hands and I love it.  It's not slimy or greasy at all.  And it's cheaper than any moisturizer in the beauty department.  More love.

Burt's Bees lip balm is not as cheap as others we have in the house.  But it works, smells nice, and best of all, doesn't taste like chemicals.  I use it all the time - see how the print is worn off the tube?  I have to hide it from the twins, who like to each chapsticks.  Eat the cheap ones, small fry.  Not Mommy's.

This one makes me laugh at myself.  I don't necessarily love this toilet paper.  But I do like the wrapper.  The swirls make me happy.  Maybe one day I'll paint my bathroom in swirls like this.  Then I'd smile every time I went in there.

Just for today, take a look in your cupboards and drawers and notice the products that you really like.  Maybe even smile at them!

Feel Vindicated

I just read the funniest article.  I know it won't be funny to everyone.  But it was funny to me.  And poignant.

I graduated from college when I was 6 months pregnant.  We had been married for a year.  I know, quick - but that's what was right for us.  My husband had one more semester to go before he was done.  I was too blah and uncomfortable to go out and get a job or anything, so I just stayed home in our little apartment.  I read books and slept a lot, and sewed baby clothes.  I remember being bored and feeling yucky and wondering what I had gotten myself into.  What am I going to do all day as a stay-at-home mom?  I wondered about that often.  I soon found out.

Raising children takes a lot more time than I thought it would.  Mommying is hard work.  Sometimes nasty, sometimes joyful, sometimes frantic, sometimes boring, but oh-so-gratifying.

So when I read this article titled "You're a stay-at-home mom?  What do you DO all day?"  I was interested.

I loved it.  I read and re-read it.  And then I had to read it to my husband who was groggily stumbling out of the bedroom after hunkering down for a few days with the man-flu.  He was nice enough to listen and not fall asleep while I was reading.  Thanks, dear.

I came away from the article feeling grateful that someone else gets me.  I'm understood.  I'm important.  My role as a mother is critical for the health of our society.  And it felt good.  I'm not trying to say that non-stay-at-home-non-moms aren't important.  Quite the opposite.  We're all beneficial.  Really.  Unless you live off a government grant that has you collecting elephant poop.  But maybe then you are important to the elephants, so you're good.

So today, do an internet search of something you like to do, and read up on the latest articles (they doesn't even have to be peer-reviewed) that prove you are worthwhile.  I bet you'll find something.  You love quilting?  You are an important part of America's cultural heritage.  Are you into marketing?  Society needs you.  Are you a grandparent?  "The government needs to rethink the policy implications" of your "positive role."  Are you a manager?  Your role is critical.  You like shopping on Main Street? Your hometown economy depends on you.

Don't be cynical.  Just take it as a little boost for the day.  It might even make you share an article or two.

BTW, Man flu is real.  I'm not making it up.  I feel vindicated.

Just for today, google (or bing or yahoo or whatever you do) "my interest/job/hobby/calling" important (like "librarians important") and see what comes up.  And then feel vindicated.  And important - 'cuz you are!

Repair Work

As I've been thinking a lot about depression this week, it's easy to feel like you are broken, not fixable, not worth anything.  Not so.  NOT SO!

I came across this article about the ancient Japanese art of fixing broken pottery.  It's called kintsukuroi or kintsugo.  In the process, not only is it successfully put back together, but becomes more valuable.  Imagine being more worthwhile because you were once broken.

Please read the post.  It is beautiful.  You can read more about it here and here.

A last quote from Jeffrey Holland's talk, "Like a Broken Vessel:"

   Though we may feel we are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says (Psalms 31:12), we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter. Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.
   I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be!

Just for 15 minutes today, envision yourself as a valuable vessel adorned with ribbons of gold.  You are beautiful!

Don't You Quit

One reason I've been enjoying this week of studying Jeffrey R. Holland's talk on depression so much is that I missed a bunch of the other talks during LDS General Conference this past weekend.  Normally, I like to take a break from my normal work and listen to the talks on Saturday and Sunday.  On Sunday, unfortunately, I had to go over and deal with a minor medical emergency with my dad (he is fine now, just forgot to take his medicines for a couple of weeks).  And on Saturday, Trent and I were at a funeral of his close high school friend who had taken his own life.  What a heartbreaking day.

After we got home from the funeral, I sat on the couch, exhausted.  This talk was the first one I heard from start to finish.  It struck so close to home for the day.  I listened and cried.

Whatever your struggle, my brothers and sisters—mental or emotional or physical or otherwise—do not vote against the preciousness of life by ending it! Trust in God. Hold on in His love. Know that one day the dawn will break brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee.

And even though it isn't from the talk last weekend, talk, I loved this picture so much.

Creative LDS Quotes

Just for today, keep on keeping on.  It will get better.  It will.

Take a Break

More from Jeffrey R. Holland.  He says this so much better than I can!

   In preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face “depletion depression,” make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill. 

   If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. 

Saborn Va

   If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.
For caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.”
   Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions!

Just for today, "try not to be overwhelmed."  And take a 15 minute break.

Never Lose Hope

More goodness from Jeffrey R. Holland's talk from last Saturday.  It is finally out in print, so you can read it here.

I am not speaking of bad hair days, tax deadlines, or other discouraging moments we all have. Everyone is going to be anxious or downhearted on occasion. The Book of Mormon says Ammon and his brethren were depressed at a very difficult time, and so can the rest of us be. But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking!

Chocolate on My Cranium

So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.

Just for today, do all the good things you know are right, even if you don't feel like they will help.  And never give up hope.

You Are More Than Your Depression

In Jeffrey R. Holland's talk I referenced yesterday (I hope you watched it!  Go back and see the clip if you haven't yet.), he talked about how we need to have compassion for each other.  He quoted the apostle Peter in saying "disciples of Jesus Christ are to have 'compassion one of another'."

The referenced scripture is 1 Peter 3:8 where, besides having compassion for each other, we are reminded to love each other and treat each other with tenderness and courtesy.  We should be a blessing to each other.  So instead of looking down on those with mental illnesses, we should treat them with compassion.

AND we should treat ourselves that way, too.

Elder Holland goes on to say that "there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."

It doesn't matter whether our mental illness is minor or major - it's rough while you are in it.  So cut yourself some slack.  You are not your malady.

Your depression, your discouragement... is not you.

You are an amazing, beautiful child of God.  Really.

All Things Bright and Beautiful

Just for today - be nice to yourself if you are feeling down.  Remember how amazing you are inside!