Accentuate the Positive

27 Days to a Happy Mom - Day 9

This song was written by Johnny Mercer in the fall of  1944.  Within a few short months, there were three different versions of this song on the Billboard charts.  Since then , it has been redone a whole pile of times (I'm counting 30) by various groups.  I guess the message just resonates.  We can't always change our circumstances, but we can change how we look at it.

This is so true when we think of our relationships with our spouses (Trent thinks the plural of "spouse" should be "spice").  As much as I want to sometimes, I cannot change my husband.  He will love zucchini no matter how much I protest.  If it bothers me, then I am bothered.  Again:  I am the one who is bothered.  

I can change that by refusing to be annoyed by his (fill-in-the-blank).  I suppose I could throw out all zucchini and ban him from ever bringing it in the house again.  That might solve the immediate vegetable problem.  But then something else will bother me.

There will always be problems.  That's just part of life.  but I can change how I look at it.  My dear husband's idiosyncrasies can forever be getting under my skin, or I can just let them go and love him all the more.  He doesn't have to change a thing in order for me to change my outlook.  I do that all by myself.

That doesn't mean that I am going to be a doormat; a whimper of a woman who only exists to acquiesce to her husband's every whim without a thought of her own.  No!  On the contrary, letting go of my husband's "stuff" will make me stronger.  By letting his stuff bug me, I am letting him control me - control how I feel, how I look at the world, and how I see him.

I can overlook the little "problems:" how he chews his food, or his penchant for a sport I'm not fond of.  I can concentrate on the things that I love about my sweetheart: how he holds me, or his desire to stay awake and listen to what I have to say even though it is late.  As I tell him how great I really think he is (instead of nagging him for what he isn't) he may very well decide he wants to please me more.  And even if he doesn't, I can still be happy.

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene 

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mr. In-between

Just for today... Find happy things about your spouse to focus on.  Decide to downplay something that has been eating at you.  Don't be lukewarm.  Feel happy!