There have been a bunch of things tearing at my heart lately. A bunch of little things, and several solidly heart-rending Really Big Things. I've felt unheard, rejected, and abandoned. It hurts to know that your love - the only thing you really have to give - isn't wanted. It's devastating to see that people you care about don't care to be with you. I've cried and stayed up all night and moped about the house. It didn't help. If anything, I felt more unloved, more unwanted. I've been a little lost.
I'm not sure where we were when I took this snapshot of a white flower. Plants and nature scenes bring me such peace, and I keep thinking I'll learn to draw them. My kids laugh at me for taking pictures of "every leaf" as we go for walks through verdant places. I got this shot because I wanted the head-on perspective so I could see the shape of the leaves. As I examined the photo later, I noticed the little bug on the top petal. Can you see him, the tan-colored bug close to the center there? I have to admit that I'm not fond of creepy-crawlies, and I wished I had seen it before I took the shot so I could pick a different bloom. But if I had been paying attention that closely, it might have been too close!
It took me a while to realize that in focusing on the bug, I missed the whole flower. It is a gorgeous blossom! So it is with life. There is so much good and heaps of beautiful. And some hard and a bitter dose of hurt. Focusing on one part does not make any other part go away. I'm not pretending that those hurts are less than they are. But remembering the goodness of the whole will help us to cope better.
