Thursday, September 18, 2014


Am I the only one who falls for this?

Every time I see this, I hope for the best. Maybe they have actually made cardboard with real perforations so it will tear instead of crumpling and demolishing the box. So I try. First with my fingers,then my thumb, then rapping in it with my knuckles, then hammering with the butt end of a butter knife. After a while, I rage and say things I don't normally say. "Bad words!" And the box ends up looking like this. Every time.

Finally, I get out a steak knife and cut along the pretend lines. They are probably printed on the box instead of perforated, anyway. Why do I believe them?

Somewhere, there is a dark room filled with cardboard sadists, watching a video of me mangling the box as I try to push in and tear back. They are laughing at me, but I showed them.  I got my mashed potatoes, and the shepherd's pie was pretty good, even after all that.  So there.

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