Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Bids for Attention

Trent showed me this article the other day, and wanted to discuss it with me.  My first reaction, since I was in the middle of something else (probably something of great urgency and importance, like reading the news), went like this, "Yeah, honey, I read that one several weeks ago."  But then as I paused and re-thought my initial comment, and remembered what the article was about, I had to stop and turn toward him and listen.

The article, "Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits," talked about the two things that all successful relationships have in common.  I boil the paragraphs and paragraphs of research and testing and analysis down to this: relaxing with each other, and responding in a loving way.

The relaxing part seems pretty straightforward, except that you have to be relaxed and feel loving on a physiological level, not just acting chill or being lazy.  You have to be, deep down, at peace with your relationship.

And the loving responses result from how you react - whether you turn toward them or away from them - when your partner makes a bid for your attention.  Like, "Hey, look at this interesting article I just read."  Oops.  I turned away by downplaying the reading and making it look like what I was doing was more important to me than listening to him.

I repent.  And I will try to be more mindful in my responses, and make my heart more soft, loving, and at peace with my life.

Because this:  I love my man, and I'm gonna keep him.

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